Something about Nothing

ADAM SIGNED THE CORRECT PAGE!!

… where’s my surprise?

LOL

Only 7 more working days before I am out for a whole week! Can you tell that I am getting all freaking excited? I just can’t wait until Christmas is here and doing all the Christmas shopping.

Speaking of shopping, last night I was doing a little research on-line for Greg’s Christmas gift. I want to make sure what I buy is going to be compatible with the other items. As I was doing this research I told Greg to not turn around as I was shopping for his present and he replied with “Oh, that’s nice. By the way, what’s your ring size?” It was a joke. But, since he brought it up, I switched to engagement ring shopping and showed him, again, what I like and dislike.

Poor Greg, he’s been feeling under the weather for over a week now and Amelia hasn’t completely recovered from her head cold either. So far *knocking on wood, again* I have been the non-contaminated one.

In other news…

Yesterday I contacted the court house about the divorce papers and it turns out that Adam only had 30 days to reply to my certified mail and as we all know, he didn’t (well, sorta). So, according to the person I spoke with I can file for an Order of Default, which I did. So, now Adam has another 30 days to reply to the Order of Default. If he does not, then a default hearing it scheduled and I will more than likely be granted the divorce. It’s just a matter of time. Now, I haven’t told Adam that I requested the Order of Default. In fact, the only thing I’ve mentioned to him (I wrote him an email over the weekend) was that I am on a deadline and where’s the papers; and then later suggested he mail the papers directly to the court and not me. He did reply that he wasn’t aware of a deadline (did he really need to know) and that he’s been sitting on the papers as he’s been focusing on his new job as a medical transcription-ist. Um, ok… ?? And this new job delays your ability to read and sign a simple form for an entire month? Yeah, I know. I am still going to believe, in my little world, that Adam isn’t delaying this divorce process on purpose. I, again in my own little world, don’t see any logical reason for him to do so, therefore his actions are not intentional; he’s just a jackass. I’m sure there are those out there who sees things differently (I do get a lot of feedback) but I know Adam and this behavior (intentionally withholding something) isn’t like him. Besides, he has a girlfriend that he’s living with who (from my understanding) doesn’t know he’s married; so in my little world that would be even more reason for him to want to get this divorce done and over with. Wouldn’t you think the same

Ok, thank you for the advice. I will try and take it in what I assume was the good spirit it was offered. I guess we just were not the same type of person Jess. Please send the paper work so that I can finish it and send it back to you. Good luck and take care.

Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com> wrote:

That’s another thing - you never want to talk about what’s bothering you. In all honesty, that is why I wanted to separate; you never opened up to me. You never told me what was bothering you. You never talked about ‘it’ what ever ‘it’ was. It’s not healthy to keep things in.

I hope that you’re more open with Sue (but I am going to guess that you’re not since you mentioned earlier that she doesn’t even know you’re married and going through a divorce). That is one thing that I suggest you change, Adam; be more open with the people that you love.

—– Original Message —-
From: Adam D <crown_*****@yahoo.com>
To: Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 6, 2007 5:24:04 PM
Subject: Re: Mail

Just send the paperwork, please. Thank You.  Good luck to you and your new family.

Above are the emails that Adam and I exchanged over the weekend. I haven’t, and don’t plan on, replied to his last email.

I’m not going to tell him that I’ve already mailed the papers back - unmarked - or anything of that nature.

Even though we’ve separated two and a half years ago, we did remain friends (sorta). At least we were nicer to each other; up until this past week. Basically, the emails are a pretty accurate description of how Adam and I regularly communicated with each other: I did all the work and he would just close up. We had many conversations throughout the seven years about him not being open. “Can’t teach and old dog new tricks” is the first thing that comes to mind.

How do I feel about all that has been said over the last four to five days? Still feeling angry about his stupidity; some think that he’s doing ‘this’ on purpose because he doesn’t want to let go. I find that hard to believe. I mean, this guy won’t even share his phone number with his Mom, so obviously he’s trying to get away from everyone in Maryland so why would he want to hold on? I am pretty sure that once this divorce is final, I probably won’t think about him anymore. I may think about his Mom from time to time but definitely not him. My feelings from Adam are completely gone, which is a sad thing when one thinks about it.

Whatever, Jess. I am tired of taking all the blame every time something doesn’t go exactly how you want it to.  Just mail the damn thing, I’ll sign it everwhere possible and mail it back to you.

Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com> wrote:

Hey, I’m trying to make this a fight either, but I am TIRED of having to do EVERYTHING about this and when we were together, Adam. You don’t seem to understand.

I’m sorry that you feel your life fell apart. But, only you can put the peices back together. You have to work for it and possibly change; prevent history from repeating.

I am not going to do this. I worked very hard for our relationship and I’m done with doing ALL the work. You are going to have to chip in and do some work as well.

Adam is still being a dick.

About five minutes later, Adam sent the following email:

Look, I am not trying to start a fight. Sorry if the last message was a little rough. Please just mail the paperwork to me.

My reply was:

What did you mean by “I am tired of taking all the blame every time something doesn’t go exactly how you want it to.”? Aside from this whole signature on the wrong page, what the hell have I blamed on you? Are you referring to our relationship; if so that is something completely different because you didn’t want to try and go to counseling.

I’m not at fault for this. I’ve done everything and laid everything out for you; all you need to do is sign the paper (in the right place) and mail it back. Very simple task on your end.

Jess

P.S. You’ve been telling me that you’re going to send a check for about five months now. Good thing I’m not waiting on baited breath for you to keep your promise.

Am I trying to hurt his ‘man hood’ by telling him that he can’t keep his promises and that he can’t follow simple papers? Yes, I am a little. I’m not a bad person, in general, but he brings the bitch out of me at times like this. I just want to scream at him and tell him how stupid he’s being; how someone who was going to school to be a lawyer doesn’t understand something so simple. I want to make him feel small and bad for himself. I also want him to see the reality of ‘this’ with ‘this’ being that I am not going to do everything for him.

I have placed the forms back in the mail. I did not mark where he needs to sign. He’s going to have to figure that out for himself.

Adam and I have exchanged a few emails this afternoon. My reply is the most recent, to which he hasn’t replied to - as of yet: 

How are WE working together when it’s ME doing all the work?

I’m done with the ‘we’ part of this. I’ve done EVERYTHING for this divorce - you haven’t done anything - not even a simple phone call to ask a simple question (remember, there are things called pre-paid phone cards).

I want this done just as much as you do, Adam, but I am not going to do ALL the work - you’re going to have to do some things for yourself. You can’t rely on people to do everything for you, even the simple things that you don’t like to do.

You haven’t changed.

—– Original Message —-
From: Adam D <crown_*****@yahoo.com>
To: Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, October 5, 2007 3:08:26 PM
Subject: Re: Mail

Come on Jess, you know I was never good with any paperwork. I am sorry I got confused. I am just asking for a simple thing here. I will send you a check when I can. Can you just make a mark on the paper you wnat me to sign so we can get this over with? Come on. I am trying to get this all finished and wraped up here. Can’t we work together here?

Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com> wrote:

Did you not notice that there wasn’t a line for your signature where you signed? Did you not read all the pages? There is a line for your signature and date on the page that you’re suppose to sign. Come on, Adam, you were going to school to be a lawyer - how could you not follow the papers and know where to sign? Maybe you should ask Sue to help you.

You need to learn to do things for yourself; I always filled out your forms (medical insurance; hospital forms, etc). This is one simple thing that I need YOU to figure out and do for yourself.

Plus, you haven’t done anything for this divorce. I am doing all the work; just like when we were together. You need to do something for this, including helping with the costs.

—– Original Message —-
From: Adam D <crown_*****@yahoo.com>
To: Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com>
Sent: Friday, October 5, 2007 2:45:00 PM
Subject: Re: Mail

I thought I was signing in the right place. I am sorry your directions were confusing. I will do better if you just underline where you want me to sign like I asked. And I am sorry, but I can’t make a long distance call to the courthouse in maryland just like that.  And I will date the papers, but there was nowhere to put a date on the paper. Where do you want me to put the date? Please just underline where you want it signed, or put a little pen mark or something, then we can just get this over with. Thank You.

I refuse to help him. I am not going to undeline, mark, highlight, what have you where he needs to sign the divorce papers. Like I said, he needs to figure it out on his own. It’s not my job, anymore, to baby his every need because he can’t understand or figure out anything. He’s 32 years old, he can figure it out for himself.

Below are the emails that Adam and I have exchanged during the last two weeks; beginning with my reply this morning: 

Why didn’t you call the court house for clarification? Also, I told you where to sign (or at least where I thought you should sign) and you didn’t even sign on that page! And you forgot to date the signature! It doesn’t seem like you’re paying attention, Adam. What are you doing up there? 

—– Original Message —-
From: Adam D <crown_*****@yahoo.com>
To: Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, October 4, 2007 6:46:37 PM
Subject: Re: Mail

Sorry about that. Why don’t you underline where you want me to sign? The post office sent the original letter back to me saying I didn’t have enough postage, so I guess you can see this I want to do this right and get it over with.

Take Care,

AdamJessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com> wrote: Oct 4

Adam,

 

You signed the wrong page. If you’re confused, call the court house; their number is on the papers.

 

I’m going to have to re-mail them for your signature.

 

Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com> wrote:

Adam,

I believe that if you look on page 2 of 3 of the DR 50 form (where the bottom of the page states: “Certificate of Service”) after question 10, the next paragraph starts with: FOR THESE REASONS, I request the Court…

check the middle box (Grant the relief requested in the Complain/Petition/Motion.) and then sign where is asks for the signature and date.

Again, I think that is where you need to sign, but if you have any questions - call the court house (phone number is provided in the packet) to be certain.

Jess

—– Original Message —-
From: Adam D <crown_*****@yahoo.com>
To: Jessica Dean <frye79@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, September 24, 2007 3:49:43 PM
Subject: Re: MailHi Jess,I got your letter with the papers today. But where do you want me to sign them? The directions you sent with the papers don’t make sense because there is nowhere to sign the papers on the copy with the red stamp.I am confused. Please clarify so I can get this sent to you asap.

Take Care,

Adam

 

I am fuming right now; telling me what to do to make things easier for him (”Why don’t you…”). What the hell! This guy hasn’t done shit towards this divorce process other than delay everything. He hasn’t paid anything nor what little he has done (check his mail box) he’s fucked up. This will be the FOURTH time I mail the divorce papers to him; FOURTH TIME!

I am tempted to dive to PA (where’s he staying with his girlfriend that doesn’t know he’s married) and get him to sign the papers. Obviously he needs help reading a damn form.

I am done being nice to him, it’s time to be a bitch.

I called Adam’s Mom earlier tonight. The whole purpose of the call was to see if she had Adam’s phone number so I could call him, rather than email or mail him, about the divorce papers and that because he is so incredibly stupidhe signed the wrong page (on the ORIGINAL, FORMAL COURT, papers).

I ended talking to Adam’s Mom for a little over a half hour. That last time we talked was in February.

We, or I, caught up on family members. Ryan, Adam’s youngest sibiling, has moved to Millersville and is living with his girlfriend. Casey, Adam’s sister, is still living at home and still recovering from her accident back in 2002 or 2003 (she really messed up her leg). Eban, Casey’s son and Adam’s only nephew, is turning eight years old next week.

Now, to give a little history of the events from last year and what I learned tonight, Adam’s grandad and father died within three months of each other. Adam took it really hard. I went to Adam’s grandad’s funeral (honestly, because I loved his grandparents) but didn’t go to his dad’s funeral (didn’t like his dad). Everyone on Adam’s dad side of the family has stopped communicating with Adam’s Mom and everyone else after the funeral. That is really pathetic. Adam’s Mom and Dad were married for nearly 35 years; Adam and one of his cousins were born on the exact same day and year (how rare is that), and now that whole side of the family is ignoring everyone on ‘the other side’, basically anyone who isn’t directly blood related. Personally, I never liked that side of the family aside from the grandparents. They were to inclusive of ‘us’ and didn’t try very hard to make us feel welcome at any family events. Adam’s Mom side of the family are true Irish people and love get togethers and are very welcoming and make you feel right at home (although there was one uncle and aunt that I didn’t get along with).

It was weird talking to Adam’s Mom. I’ve been thinking about calling many times over the last few months but thought that it would be weird. I mean, I’m sure she’s aware that Adam and I are or have divorced and such even though the two times we’ve talked this year, divorce wasn’t brought up.

Of all the people in Adam’s family, it’s his Mom that I feel bad for. She’s not getting the support she needs (on all levels). She’s working two jobs trying to make ends meet and her immediate family (the kids) aren’t helping her (even though Casey lives at home with her). It’s sad, sorta. If there were a way I could help her, and her only, I would. Maybe I will send a gift card or something to her this holiday.

I’m writing this publicly (when I usually keep these private) in hopes that Adam or someone that knows him reads this.

I know you’re lying, Adam. I know you’re making excuses that are very petty. Just sign the damn papers and pay your half of the fees. You have money; I know you do because I remember numbers (seems you may have forgetting my freakish ability to remember account numbers or social security numbers or any other sequence of numbers) very easily.

Stop making yourself look stupid. I know you’re smarter (and the Staples and the post office carry all sizes of envelopes so the excuse that there isn’t an evelope big enough to mail the 10 pages of the divorce papers back is just stupid) than you’re making yourself look.

Grow up!

Greg has taken today and tomorrow off of work, so he is probably sitting at home in front of the computer playing SimCity with the TV on, and I bet he’s only wearing shorts. LOL But, Greg is going to pick Amelia up from Mrs. L’s and is planning on cooking dinner tonight! I can’t wait to get home!

Work has been busy from the first second of arriving and it looks like it’s going to be another busy week. But, there are new hires on the floor so hopefully work won’t be a repeat of last week…

Greg and I are talking about taking a small road trip this weekend to Delaware to visit Sonic since we’ve been talking about this trip for nearly a year (and the constant commercials on cable aren’t helping)! Then in October we’re planning on visiting Prime Outletsin Hagerstown for some much needed shopping (myself and Amelia’s needs) and maybe while we’re up in Hagerstown, we’ll visit Catoctin State Park again and take more pictures of the fall scenery.

*** FF to 4:14 ***

Whew! It has been so so busy! Which is very good since I’ve cleared up something about our commission payout, and if I can keep my retention at 90% or higher for the remainder of the week, my potential commission could be $1200-$1400 for this month (payable in October)!! *Crossing my fingers*

I received an email from Adam today. He’s received the certified letter for his signature yet didn’t know where to sign; which I just don’t understand - this guy is smart, has a BS degree in poli sci and was planning on becoming a lawyer yet doesn’t understand where he needs to sign on the divorce forms. Even I can figure it out. I replied where where I think he needs to sign and suggested he contact the court house for clarification (to which I am sure he’ll respond to ask me to do it to which I will respond with a ‘no’).

So, has anyone else played with iGoogle? I’ve been playing with it some today (in between calls and during my lunch hour), trying to see if I like or not. I don’t use my gmail account as much as my Yahoo account (had Y! much longer), but there are some fun things on iGoogle. I like that tickerfactory.com is linked to iGoogle, which is a fun application to use (currently, my birthday was 7 months, 3 weeks, and 1 day ago and Amelia is 8 months and 1 week old), as well as trivia questions, quotes and so forth.  Eh, just something to ponder.

Well, I believe I am done with the writing. It’s too busy to really sort out my thoughts and the constant interruption anoys the living… well you get what I mean…

What a day! So very busy, again, and so very alone on the work! I really can’t wait until we have new hires on the floor; although, my commissions for this month are going to be great!

Last night was nice, there was a big electrical fire in front of the condo neighborhood, oddly there wasn’t any traffic and we had power! Greg and I had a nice dinner of burbon chicken and noodles and Amelia was so sleepy she was falling asleep as she drank her bottle (something she stopped doing a long time ago) so she went to bed pretty early. Greg was able to make it to the post office and mail the divorce papers for me (via certified mail), so that is done and over with.

While dinner was cooking and Greg was feeding Amelia, we were chatting about and then Greg states: “Why isn’t the TV on? I pay good money for TV and we’re not using it!” in a joking manor of course. I’m still not used to having cable in the condo and don’t really miss watching TV. So, around 7:45pm I turned on the TV and watched House Hunters (one of my favorite shows) and then watched ‘Prime Time TV’ beginning with How I Met Your Mother. Greg and I watched HIMYM together and it was a wedding episode. Later in the night, as Greg and I were lying in bed talking, I asked him what kind of wedding he would like. And we discussed what we do and do not like about weddings and we both agree that we do not want a traditional wedding and would rather have something fun and non-formal; we both agreed that our budget will probably go on the catering since we want food that people will be talking about for months after the wedding. We talked about what kind of wedding to have: outdoors, beach, garden, etc and thought of a few themes that we could probably do (a Hawaiian Luau; Bonfire; etc) and other small ideas.

Greg told me that he’s working on a project titled Operation Coffee. After a few questions I was able to figure out what Operation Coffee is: A trip to Seattle, WA and a drive down to California on route 101. Greg is planning this for next summer (hopefully) and this trip will be about 15 days! The trip is only for Greg and me so Amelia will probably stay with my Mom. It’s exciting to think about going somewhere next summer and that Greg is planning all these types of surprises for me and us.

Work has been insanley busy, again, and we’re down two people so I’m really feeling the impact. It’s stressful and I am completely burnt and exhausted.

Greg is going to visit his brother Pat tonight since it will be his last night home so that means I am on my own with Amelia. I hope she’s going to be as exhausted tonight as she was last night, but not too tired for a bath (which she seems to finally enjoy).

I’ve noticed that I have a few new readers; local readers too! Someone from DC visits a lot and a new reader coming from The Red Cross. Welcome! Hope you find my writing entertaining and feel free to leave a comment anytime!

Ok, now I am going to try and read The Post.

 Over and Out.