Something about Nothing

Only 21 days until Christmas!!!  I am getting so freaking excited!

Last night, Greg placed the order for the laptop. With the employee discount (his company has a special program set up with Dell to receive about 12% off), the special Dell is promoting, and some other discount, Greg saved nearly $400 on the laptop and this is all with free shipping. In addition to the laptop, Greg ordered a laptop bag (messenger style); a wireless mouse, and a cooling fan/docking station – all with coordinating colors to the laptop (which is Ruby Red). Now, the scheduled ‘build date’ is, as of last night, Dec 18 – two weeks from today – and the shipping date is Dec 21. I am really, really, hoping everything will arrive on time for Christmas (as I am sure Greg is hoping for too).

I am hoping that all of this will happen earlier than scheduled, mainly because I could really use the DVD R/RW +/- writer to finish the copying of the Huntt Family Home Movies for everyone as Christmas gifts. We’ve learned that if someone’s DVD player doesn’t support the DVD -R, then they can’t watch the DVD. If not, then I am going to have to do this the long way by copying the movies onto Greg’s computer and hook up the external DVD burner (a light scribe which would allow me to make a custom cover of the DVD) and burn that way; which, in a small way could be easier for all the DVD’s I have to make (about 7). Eh, maybe I’ll do that anyway and hand them out at the wedding reception; of course, this is going to be done after I’ve done my shopping (holiday clothes, Greg’s Christmas present, etc); Ugh, looks like my Wednesday morning is going to be uber busy.

The only downside to all my Christmas excitement is that it’s all over with on Christmas Day. As a kid, I rarely enjoyed Christmas morning only because I knew that Christmas would be over with by 10am. But, I loved that feeling of excitement waking up at 5am and sneaking out to the living room and seeing all the presents under the tree, looking at all the Christmas lights and seeing the stockings hung over the fireplace and filled to the brim with goodies – all the while listening to the Christmas music playing from the radio in the background. And then running into Mom and Van’s room to wake them up so we can open everything only to be told to go back to bed and wait until 7am. At which point I was just lie in bed and listen to Christmas music on my walkman. It was like this until my late teens (high school age) – seriously. And my brother was the same way. Lately (the last two or three years), I didn’t do anything for Christmas other than visit my Mom. The last two years I didn’t even put up a tree. This year, and all the years coming, is going to be completely different and not just because of Amelia. This year, I am with someone that I am madly in love with and gets into the Christmas spirit just as much as I do and those two factors alone makes this Christmas super special. Then we add in that this is Amelia’s First Christmas and she’s practically old enough to get into to, as in opening presents and just enjoying the excitement that we all feel.

Our Christmas plans, as of today, are to go down to my Mom’s on Sunday, the 23^rd, and celebrate Christmas together (including April, Clayton, and Olivia and I think cousin Danny) with my side of the family and then on Christmas Day, go to Greg’s Mom’s for the traditional Christmas Brunch that she cooks every year. Greg and I did talk about flying out to Detroit to visit his Dad and Step-Mom (and step sisters) but I don’t think it’s going to happen, at least for Christmas. We’re thinking of doing a trip in late January or early February. Denise, Greg’s step-mom, is dying to meet Amelia and me.

In other news…

I was notified by Schmap that my picture of the MD Science Ctr has been included in the guide on their website. Woo-hoo!!

And…

Yesterday I received the following (via emalil):

“Jessica,

After thoroughly reviewing and discussing your photograph, I am pleased to inform you that our Selection Committee has advanced your contest entry, “Drummer Girl,” to semi-finalist in the International Open Amateur Photography Contest.

Your photo will now be automatically entered into the final competition, where you now have an excellent chance of winning one of over 114 cash or gift prizes, including the $1,000.00 Grand Prize. You may even win the $10,000.00 Annual Grand Prize! And that’s not all! In celebration of your unique talent, we also wish to publish your photograph in our forthcoming anthology series . . . Endless Journeys.”

 Here’s the picture:

A few weeks ago I submitted a photo of Amelia playing the drums at the October RSC and titled the entry as “Drummer Girl”. The website, Pictures.com, hosts photo contests so I said why not and hit submit and then completely forgot about it, until yesterday when I received the above email. This is pretty exciting, in my mind. Makes me feel that I could probably submit a photo to CutestKid.com and maybe win!

I believe that’s all I have for an update. How is everyone else doing out there?

Well, I made the drive to North East, MD without any confusion or accidents! I’m even surprised, even more so since I did the driving.

Amelia slept the entire way up and the entire way down. Easy driving!

The drive wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. It was a little over an hour each way and I thought I was going to be bored to tears; but I seem to do better as the driver than the passenger for car trips that are more than 45 minutes long.

Jay and Leslee’s place is amazing! It’s the three level three bedroom townhouse. The first level is the rec room and on the second level is the kitchen, living room, and eating area, and on the third level are the three bedrooms. The kitchen is great; it’s big and open! The turn out for their Open House was pretty nice! I’d say, through out the 2.5 hours we where there about 50-60 guests arrived (not all at once). Oh, and the food was out of this world! The chicken salad on croissants was outstanding!

It was bitter sweet seeing Jay. I didn’t get to spend as much time as I would have liked catching up with him. He and Leslee were very busy hosts. We did get a few minutes to talk but it wasn’t enough. Jay looks great, and so does Leslee. They both adored Amelia, as did everyone else who met her. The first thing Jay told me as soon as we walked in was “The pictures of Amelia don’t do justice!” And Jay said that more than once. I was hoping that Jay’s grandparents were going to be there but neither could make it. I asked Jay if it would be ok to send them a Christmas Card and he said they would love to receive one from me (while I was working at Cypress Creek, Jay’s granddad became a patient and I was able to catch up with the family and such; those months before I left were also bitter sweet because I was going to miss them and I wasn’t able to say good bye). There were so many things I wanted to talk to Jay about; so many things I wanted to ask him but I wasn’t able to do so. Maybe it’s for the best, given our history together.

I did become a little sad when I realized that there wasn’t going to a chance for Jay and I to catch up.  But, in all honesty, I wasn’t expecting to do so. The party was exactly as I expected it to be, but I was hoping my expectations were going to be wrong, for once.

On the way home I told Greg my feelings of the party and when I mentioned something that Jay told me a few years ago, and Greg replied “Oh, he’s that guy…”. Yeah, Jay is that guy… and that is being said in a good way.

Time to move onto another subject - no point in dwelling in the past … at least at this moment…

From start to finish, we spent seven hours out and about.

We had a pretty good time today! The only thing that would make this trip perfect is if the skies were clear and not the cloudy haze that they actually were.

We left the house around 11:15am and we made it back about 6:15pm. Traffic was a bitch in Virginia! As soon as we crossed the the VA/MD line, everything picked up. It was odd.

There really isn’t all that much to write about for the museum, it’s pretty cut and dry; a ‘parking lot’ of older airplanes and a section with astronaut stuff - to put it bluntly. Don’t get me wrong, I actually had a good time, despite my headache and paying nearly $16 for two McDonald’s “value” meals.  And, of course all the pictures are on Flickr. I haven’t titled the pictures because, honestly, I am feeling too lazy at the moment.

Greg and I have been invited to a Holiday Party for Dec 1, all the way out in North East, MD! I haven’t told Greg, yet. It is short notice but I am sure we’re going to go, even though the person hosting the party (and he’s married now) is an old crush/love of mine (we tried the dating thing but I was too afraid to ruin the friendship that we already had). This person and I have been friends since middle school days; and I remember having the biggest crush on him in high school. He’s one of the reasons I joining the marching band even though I didn’t know how to play a single instrument, at the time.  I am looking forward to seeing him and his wife. It’s been nearly 4 years since we’ve last seen each other.

I received a text message from Michele earlier this evening informing me that she’s coming down tomorrow morning because there is another lump in her breast. This girl has already had to lump removals from her breast, both confirmed as cancerous, and she’s had a complete hysterectomy because of cancer and she’s only 34 years old. This girl has been through a lot. And, when she sent me the text message, it reminded me of a thought I had earlier today as Greg and I were on 495 heading to VA; this time in 2005 I was driving in the same direction at least once a week to visit my aunt in the hospital as she was diagnosed with cancer. My aunt was 44 when she died on Dec 5, 2005. Those 7 weeks, from diagnosis to death, were really hard for the family, and those memories came through me earlier. Michele wants me to go with her to the appointment. I told her that I have tomorrow off and I will be there if she wants me to be.

Anyway, moving on…

Tomorrow, Greg and I are planning on visiting the Science Center. We don’t have much of anything else planned at the moment and so far nothing planned for Wednesday. Wednesday will probably be a relax day, or maybe if Greg’s letter arrives in the mail we can do other things. Only time will tell.

I have so much on mind right now:

• Do we head up to Hagerstown and visit Michele and do some window/Holiday shopping at the Outlets;
• Do we head up to Hunt Valley , again, and look at all the Christmas decorations at Valley View Farms;
• When is Greg’s ‘letter’ going to arrive in the mail;
• What are the plans for Christmas? Whose family are we going to visit/spend time with;
• What are Greg and I going to do from the 19^th through 21^st; are we going to Delaware

And, then there is all the excitement regarding Adam finally returning the divorce papers with the signature in the proper location (which I forgot to bring to work today so I could make a copy and mail everything out)!!! I am hoping that I will be a divorcee by Christmas because that means I can start 2008 ‘free’ from all the divorce stress and ‘free’ from anything related to Adam, and pretty much a ‘free’ person again. Also, I get my maiden name back (only to give it up, again, in about a year).

To me, this divorce is like an accomplishment. I’ve accomplished true happiness and to learn and feel true love. Sappy, I know, but this is what I am feeling. I have worked hard all of my life and in the relationship that Adam and I had, and I don’t mean just physical work, but mostly emotional. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before about how challenging my childhood was (which was one reason I wanted to put Amelia up for adoption - so she wouldn’t have to go through what I did) and how much work my Mom did (again, not just physical) to support my brother and me. A lot of work, and if you’ve grown up like me, you’ll understand. Don’t get me wrong, I like to work hard for the things that mean a lot to me. Yes, there are the times that I get frustrated and depressed that the ‘work’ keeps piling up (or so it feels at times), but that’s just life. And I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. I want to feel successful in my accomplishments and challenges; rather than have them resolved by someone else. Everyone learns better, in my opinion, by dealing with life yourself.

I see others out there who seem to have the ‘perfect’ life; they don’t have money worries, they get to buy whatever they want whenever they want (which means it has less meaning to them, in my opinion); they show off their popularity (well, supposed popularity - sometimes these friends seem fake); and brag a lot about the most petty things (again, in my opinion). And, it makes me wonder if these people feel accomplished or proud of their life. I’m sure if I were to ask them they would say yes, but I bet deep down inside they will question themselves.

I guess I’m saying that I am starting to feel proud of the choices I’ve made in my nearly 29 years of life, even the ones that I wish I could have changed. I have been through Hell, many times (have a frequent visitor pass) and I’ve always made it out. And, at this moment in my life, I don’t think I’ll be returning, ever again. As they say, “Everything happens for a reason” or “When one door closes, another one opens”, and even though I argue those sayings and don’t believe in them 100% of the time (a partial realist here), it does give me the hope that maybe those sayings will relate to me one day.

I had so much fun last night!

The WIC appointment was really quick, for once, and I was out before 6pm.

I was at Arundel Mills by 6:05pm and headed through Bed, Bath, and Beyond (love the beyond stuff) on my way to Lane Bryant.

Lane Bryant had a really good sale going on and everything I bought was 50% off the ticketed price! I was in the store for about 20 minutes and bought five tops and two Capri’s. I didn’t see/find any skirts that I liked. The only downside to the trip was that I couldn’t find any pants or Capri’s that I like that were in my size; they were either too big or too small, so the one pair that I bought is about two sizes too big, but it has a belt/sash that I can use to make sure they stay up. When Greg arrived, I was already checking out. My total came to $94.00 and that was including a donation to some organization (I forget the name). Greg was impressed with my ability to go in and find what I like and leave, and that included trying on clothes!

After Lane Bryant, we headed over to Chevy’s for dinner. We ran into someone, the manager, who used to work at the company that Greg works for (since he was wearing the company shirt/uniform) and they chatted for a few minutes while I went to the table. Dinner was alright. The wings were great, but my meal wasn’t what I was expecting. I should have paid attention to the description of the item I ordered.

After Chevy’s, we stopped in FYE to see if they had The Transformer’s Movie, they did and we bought it.

After FYE, we headed over to Carter’s to shop for Amelia. Carter’s is a hit or miss when it comes to their clothing and prices. We looked around and bought three pairs of pants (one being overalls), and seven onsies, all in the nine month size. I did find that their selection was a little on the lacking side, but we were able to spend $55.00 without any problems.

After Carter’s, we headed over to The Children’s Place to see what they had. Their selection was even worse! But, I did find a nice little sweater cardigan for Amelia to wear in the mornings. Even Greg liked it, a lot. And, it was on sale from $14.99 to $4.99! Also, I found an adorable holiday dress that I would like for Amelia to wear for photos. It’s red checkers with black, gray, and white with a black bow on the waist. I found red tights to match and cute little black Mary Jane’s (just have to choose between shiny or matte) and thought about putting a nice red bow in her hair. She is going to look like a doll! I didn’t get any of the items because I want to talk to my cousin April about doing pictures for the Holidays first (to see if we want to do coordinating dresses; matching dresses, etc).

Finally, after The Children’s Place, we headed home. It was after 9pm when we left. We were shopping for three hours! When we got home, I did a little fashion show for Greg and he liked all the items I bought and stated, again, that he was impressed with the deals and time of my shopping spree! I am such a smart shopper.

Once I was done with the fashion show, I watched a little TV. There wasn’t anything on the network channels, so I headed over to Comedy Central and watched South Park for an hour. It has been a long time since I’ve watched this show (one episode a couple weeks ago doesn’t count since I used to watch this religiously). The episode at 10:30 was good! Hilarious even!! Greg and I were laughing so much, though mainly Greg. I am looking forward to Drawn Together tonight. After South Park, I headed for my shower while Greg put on Transformers. We watched the movie until midnight, with Greg skipping through the movie.

My sleep wasn’t that good last night. I kept waking up thinking I’ve overslept yet I didn’t want to look at the clock (my cell phone). Plus, I was having some pretty odd dreams; one being that of a nightmare sort. Sadly, I don’t remember the details.

Last night, on the way home from Arundel Mills, I called my Mom to check on Amelia and to tell her about the deals and clothes that I bought. Mom then goes on to say something along the lines of “See, you’re doing fine!” referring to Greg and me, or just me, keeping Amelia and being able to support her and my, or our, self. This time last year, without knowing, I was about 25-27 weeks pregnant; I was fighting bronchitis with no health insurance and I just started at a new job. October was a rough month for me, unbeknownst what I was going to experience in January! I shared with my Mom all the worries, concerns, thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc that I had when I told her in December that I was pregnant and felt that I wasn’t going to be able to provide all that Amelia would need, on all levels. So, it’s such an odd feeling to remember all the anxiety and fears I had last year and to see where I am now; very, very, odd feeling.

Yesterday, Greg and I headed up to Cockeysville/Hunt Valley. Greg used to live and work up there and that is where Adam lived when we were dating (and his family still lives up there). So, we’re both pretty familiar with the area. It’s always an odd feeling when we go up there. So many places have changed - like the new Target (I remember when they were braking ground for the store), the bank that used to be a Friendly’s, the whole Hunt Valley Mall is pretty much a memory since it’s been completely redone and built up and put in a Wigwams! I remember when the movie theater was built and the Wal-Mart. It’s like visiting an area that you spent so much time in only to see that it’s not what you remember.

Greg drove by his old job, MicroProse. The company has been out of business for many years. I asked Greg as we pulled up to the suite if it was weird for him and he said yes. His early 20’s were spent at this company with his two best friends (which Greg was living with as well) and those times were probably some of his happiest memories. I’m still trying to get Greg to contact Jeff and Doug for a get together but time is always against us.

Anyway, back to the trip to the farm!

I love Valley View Farms! This place is so much fun to explore. Greg and I were there for about 2 hours just walking around and taking pictures. I asked Greg if we wanted to get a pumpkin and he said no because we have no where to put it and I told him that we have a completely empty balcony! He still said no. Then I asked if we wanted to get some fall mums or pansies and again  he said no because he thinks that we’ll kill them. I confirmed with my Mom that they would survive the winter because that’s what they do and he still said no. He would rather wait until spring. I then told him that he’s not being any fun.

But, we continued with looking at the pumkins and the varieties of pumpkins and then we wondered over to the largest pumkin ever. This pumkin weighed 1,086 pounds!

Afterwards we walked inside and was looking around the place. They had both Christmas and Halloween decorations out, truly any childs delight (anticipation of trick-or-treating and then Christmas).  Of course, Greg was acting like a kid and set off each and every animated toy:

I had to walk away.

Then I noticed a sign to come this way… so I did and it was to the Haunted Tunnel! I had to go through. It sounded pretty scary from the outside. So, Greg and I walk through and it was ok… then it got a little more involved and I actually jumped at one of the attractions. It was done very well! Here are a few pictures:

It was the skeleton shaking the bars that got me.

After the Halloween displays and Haunted Tunnel, we went inside and walked through the shops. We first stopped at the Yankee Candle display and probably sniffed every jar. I took pictures of the ones we liked to remember as a possible Christmas gift for Greg. Then we went over to the miniature village displays, which is always entertaining to look at. Then we looked at all the Christmas tree’s and decorations, and ornaments, and lights, and stockings… everything. We decided to buy a special ornament for Amelia - a baby’s first that is a photo frame, and we tried to find a special ornament for Greg and I since this will be our first Christmas as a couple and living together, but we didn’t find anything that really stood out. But, I did find a really detailed saddle for my Mom. Greg and I walked out with two ornaments and a couple of sachets for that holiday aroma.

After Valley View Farms, we stopped at Charcoal Deli where Greg ordered his usual (a mess of a hamburger) and we ate at the picnic table.

Once dinner was done, we headed home but stopped off at his Mom’s first to get a few things. We hung out for a few minutes and then headed to the grocery store for our shopping. We did pretty good.

Today, we’re going to head into Baltimore Harbour and then finish off the few items left on our errands.

I have mixed emotions about today’s events.

I’ve spent a majority of the morning and afternoon working on this post for Amelia’s blog. I’m not completely satisfied with the way it turned out so I may edit it later. It’s been pretty steady at work so my focus was constantly interrupted.

Greg and I have exchanged a few emails and phone calls about the events of the paycheck and what to do. He’s tossed around the idea of going to Baltimore Harbour Place and hanging out there and maybe going to the Maryland Science Center (since I’ve been wanting to go for years). But, my heart is/was still set for Ocean City. I’m thinking that we’ll just do the day trip (we now get to decide what day to go - thinking it will be Sunday for the brunch at Fenwick Inn) and just go to have fun before the holidays kick in and the colder weather. Maybe on Monday we’ll hang out in Baltimore and visit the local tourist spots just for the hell of it. It’s going to be hard NOT TO get out and do something with the beautiful weather that is ‘predicted’ (I never trust the meteorologists in Maryland)  for this weekend.

Other than that the day has been uneventful-ish. It’s been steady and I am racking up the retention ratio for my October commissions (which will hopefully be paid on time) so that is good.

I took another trip down memory lane was was reading more events of 2005/2006. It’s such a weird feeling to do that. It’s not bad, but it brings up a lot of emotions from back then and I feel a little blue at times.

But, I have Amelia’s check-up tomorrow morning to look forward to. I am dying to know how much she weighs and how tall she is. Not too excited about the shots as it will make her a little irritable for Mom. Also, I am curious if she’s starting to go though seperation anxiety and her leaving with Mom will give me an idea.

Lately (when I have a free moment to myself) I’ve been letting my mind wonder and I’ve done a lot of thinking; thinking about all the things that have happened in the last nine months in my life - how I feel about the events that have occurred, what caused them, and how to improve or keep things as they are.

I’ve noticed that I’ve changed, not a lot, and for the better. I am not as lazy (not referring to just physical, but more emotional) as I once was - not because Amelia is around, but more along the lines that I feel proud of my accomplishments and I want to take care of everything and ’show them off’ so to speak. For instance: I want to keep the condo as clean as possible (not OCD clean) whereas when I was living in the townhouse with Sean and Aaron, I could care less about the appearance or how clean the place was; my car: previously I kept telling everyone I keep my car in the messy state that it was as my anti-theft - meaning that no one would want to go through my car to see if there is anything of value worth stealing, now a days I can’t stand items left in my car and right now it eats at me (very little) that the car is still slightly messy from the move. Those two examples are just a couple of the major events that have occurred in my life in the last nine months: Buying my first car and Greg and I moving in with each other (and all the shit we went through to find a place). 

Then I begin to think about Amelia. I will admit that it wasn’t ‘love at first sight’ with her and it took me some time to accept her and develop those motherly loving feelings. Don’t get me wrong, I never neglected her or felt any resentment towards her, it was just a huge mental and emotional adjustment for me to have her in my life; especially after all the conversations that Greg and I had when we learned that I was pregnant (they weren’t of the positive sort) including putting Amelia up for adoption once she was born; big emotional adjustment here and probably one of the biggest adjustments I’ve every had to make in my life, thus far.

The second major emotional adjustment was due to Greg and he finallyadmitting his feelings for me. Even today I am still adjusting to the fact that he’s in-love with me and tells me!!! After nearly a year of him denying his feelings for me - I knew he had feelings for me and I tried to get him to admit so but he denied it and finally in February he came out (not in that way). Thinking about that night in February still gives me butterflies. But, there are times that I will remember things that he told me before he admitted his feelings and I will bring it up to him and pick his brain as to why he didn’t tell me certain things when I asked the first time.

One night last week, as Greg and I were lying in bed talking, I asked him how many near death experiences he’s had; he told me about his close to drowning experience and the two carbon monoxide events. My only near death experience was in January 2007 (10 days after Amelia was born) when I began to bleed without known reason (later results showed that a part of the placenta was in the uterine lining and had fallen out) and let me tell you that I have never been so scared in my life as I was on January 22 when out fo the blue the bleeding began. I called my doctors office and they told me to wait an hour and call back if the bleeding didn’t slow down or stop (when I called the doctors office, I was in the shower watching all the blood run out of me as if I was peeing) and then I called my mom, hysterical on the phone, and she thought I dropped Amelia down the steps (as that was a fear of mine at the time) and when I told her what was going on she told me to call Greg. I was too afraid to call Greg; I didn’t want to inconvenience him because in my mind  still ’saw’ ‘us’ as just friends and that he still wanted to put Amelia up for adoption (though he didn’t feel like that, but that’s is how I saw things) and by having him come over it would interrupt his work and he would be missing time which would be loosing money… I know, hormones make a girl crazy… but, I called him anyway and he came right over and saw my condition (which he told me at a later time) which was that I was in obvious shock - I had no color in my skin and that my lips and toe nails and finger nails were blue from lack of oxygen and blood - freaky, huh? Greg arrived just before the ambulance did and within 20 minutes I was on my way to the hospital, again. Later, once I was hooked up to TWO IV’s to make up for the fluid loss, and examined, Greg was joking around with me and said something along the lines of:

Greg: “I hope Aaron doesn’t freak out when he gets home…”

Me: “Why?”

Greg: “Because there was so much blood in the townhouse and outside that it looks like a murder was committed. Plus, your car is still out front and there is no baby or you at home - just the blood all over the place.”

Me: “Mmm… good point. Could be an interesting story later, though. Eh, I’m sure he’ll figure things out and know that I’m fine.”

Mom was on her way up so she could explain what happened.

The following morning I was released from the hospital (I stayed the night and received a blood transfusion) and Greg told me that he was going to take two days off of work to take care of me and Amelia (which is when I introduced Greg to Bravo’s Top Chef and we watched all of Season 2 in one day). During that time, at some point, I asked Greg if he was mad at me for asking him to come over on the 22nd and he was like ‘hell no!’ and said that he would have been mad if I HAD NOT of called him. That confused me to no end but life continued. A little over two weeks later, Greg and I had THE TALK and finally talked about our feelings for each other and thus began our real relationship.

There are a few occasions that I ask Greg a thousand and twelve questions about his feelings for me. I also ask him a lot of questions about his past relationships as well (mainly feelings and such), although I’ve been asking fewer and fewer questions as I’ve slowly accepted the fact that Greg and I are together together (not that I had and thoughts or feelings that he was going to leave me to go back to any of exes) - I guess, in a sense, adjusting to the knowledge of the relationship and feelings that Greg and I have for each other is like having something you’ve been wishing to happen actually come true and you’re in disbelief because who ever has a actual wish come true… it’s not that I am insecure about myself or anything or that Greg is with me only because of Amelia… it’s just that I never, in my wildest dreams, expected Greg and I to actually fall in love with each other and plan our future together. Never.

So, with thinking about Every.Single.Thing. that I have been through these past nine months (the crazy hormonal state I was in in March and what I did as a result; the anger I had in June when I learned that Greg and I were not going to move into that first place; the emotional ‘issues’ Greg and I went through about a certain person; and everything in between) I am feeling pretty damn good right now. My life is actually good and happy. I feel like an adult and that I am handling my life and all the situations that have been thrown at me and I’ve succeeded through them and survived without an ill effects on myself or my outlook.  I feel accomplished; as if I just survived one hell of a hurrican and once the storm was over, I still have a place to call home.

I made it.

What a day! So very busy, again, and so very alone on the work! I really can’t wait until we have new hires on the floor; although, my commissions for this month are going to be great!

Last night was nice, there was a big electrical fire in front of the condo neighborhood, oddly there wasn’t any traffic and we had power! Greg and I had a nice dinner of burbon chicken and noodles and Amelia was so sleepy she was falling asleep as she drank her bottle (something she stopped doing a long time ago) so she went to bed pretty early. Greg was able to make it to the post office and mail the divorce papers for me (via certified mail), so that is done and over with.

While dinner was cooking and Greg was feeding Amelia, we were chatting about and then Greg states: “Why isn’t the TV on? I pay good money for TV and we’re not using it!” in a joking manor of course. I’m still not used to having cable in the condo and don’t really miss watching TV. So, around 7:45pm I turned on the TV and watched House Hunters (one of my favorite shows) and then watched ‘Prime Time TV’ beginning with How I Met Your Mother. Greg and I watched HIMYM together and it was a wedding episode. Later in the night, as Greg and I were lying in bed talking, I asked him what kind of wedding he would like. And we discussed what we do and do not like about weddings and we both agree that we do not want a traditional wedding and would rather have something fun and non-formal; we both agreed that our budget will probably go on the catering since we want food that people will be talking about for months after the wedding. We talked about what kind of wedding to have: outdoors, beach, garden, etc and thought of a few themes that we could probably do (a Hawaiian Luau; Bonfire; etc) and other small ideas.

Greg told me that he’s working on a project titled Operation Coffee. After a few questions I was able to figure out what Operation Coffee is: A trip to Seattle, WA and a drive down to California on route 101. Greg is planning this for next summer (hopefully) and this trip will be about 15 days! The trip is only for Greg and me so Amelia will probably stay with my Mom. It’s exciting to think about going somewhere next summer and that Greg is planning all these types of surprises for me and us.

Work has been insanley busy, again, and we’re down two people so I’m really feeling the impact. It’s stressful and I am completely burnt and exhausted.

Greg is going to visit his brother Pat tonight since it will be his last night home so that means I am on my own with Amelia. I hope she’s going to be as exhausted tonight as she was last night, but not too tired for a bath (which she seems to finally enjoy).

I’ve noticed that I have a few new readers; local readers too! Someone from DC visits a lot and a new reader coming from The Red Cross. Welcome! Hope you find my writing entertaining and feel free to leave a comment anytime!

Ok, now I am going to try and read The Post.

 Over and Out.

… The commute that is. I was a little concerned about the commute from Baltimore to Laurel and it’s not so bad. Greg and I take completely different routes, but to be fair he’s been leaving earlier than me so the traffic might be different.

Last night, Amelia just wasn’t herself. She was very quiet and didn’t seem all that interested in eating. We played with her for a little bit and then put her to bed. She didn’t fuss or anything; it was very unlike her. But, this morning she is fine. I guess she was having a moment.

Ok, so I have a question for those that like to cook: How do you cook your hamburgers (if you’re not cooking them on a grill)? Greg and I made hamburgers for dinner last night and he was going to broil them in the oven! I have never heard of that!! If I am unable to cook a hamburger on the grill I cook it in a pan, as I cooked them last night. In any event, the hamburgers were tasty (even for Greg) and we ate them on a bagel. Delicious!

The Condo Guy replied to my email and stated that he was going to shop around for a new washer/dryer since, it seems, the current one is the original and has had service calls in the past. Hooray! We get a new washer/dryer! I hope this one will be bigger than the current. I can’t believe how small it is, yet huge! I will try to get pictures of it before it’s replaced; even though we still don’t know when we’re going to have cable or Internet so who knows when the pictures are going to be uploaded.

Albeit Greg and I have only lived together, and on our own, for about four days, things are great! It’s so weird to think about all that has occurred in the past five years and where I am now; when thinking in retrospect of who I was living with and where. Here’s the break down:

May 2002 - May 2004 - Adam and I moved to Baltimore; first time living on my own and being with Adam every single day (from 1998-2002 we only saw each other on the weekends or on occasion one night during the week). Adam and I were engaged at the time we moved in but he still wanted to wait until we were married before we lived together. I felt differently and my argument won. Adam and I married on 08/08/03 and in May of 04 we moved again.

June 2004 - June 2006 - Adam and I moved to Glen Burnie. In May of 2005 Adam moves out and I continue living at Glen Burnie on my own. I was a little bit scared of living on my own. I didn’t know if I would be able to afford the rent and utilities and what not. But, I am proud that I did it and wasn’t evicted!! *Greg and I met in Aug of 2005*

July 2006 - July 2007 - Sean and I find a townhouse in Pasadena and move in together along with his best friend, Aaron. It wasn’t that bad, living with my brother and we got along very well. Don’t get me wrong, we had our moments but when thinking about it now, those moments could have been due to my pregnancy hormones.

August 2007 - Present - Greg and I move to Glen Burnie. Greg and I talked about moving in together the summer of 2006, before Sean and I moved to Pasadena, and it was talked about on a semi regular basis. We were planning on finding a place by this summer actually. The only hiccup was that my lease expired before his and we were trying to figure out how we could work things out - all the while we didn’t know I was pregnant.

Maybe I’m the only one that thinks it’s weird but thinking about the events that have occurred in my life over the past five years has been so… multifaceted; I can’t think of a better word but it’s just bizarre to me. Like, if I think about what I was doing this time in 2002 I am thinking about working at PRP and starting life with Adam, this time in 2003 - Still at PRP, working part time at Super Fresh and being a newlywed - this time 2004; still at PRP and having issues with Adam - this time in 2005; Met Greg a few days ago (Aug 20 to be exact), was working at PRP and looking for a part time job and having fun - this time in 2006; living with Sean and Aaron, quit PRP and Weis (the part time job I started in Oct 05), was working a new job and hating it but over all happy - and today; working a new job, have a nearly 8 month old baby, new friends, new car, and new relationship.

In any event, it’s all what it is and will be.

So, I forgot to mention that Monday, the 20th, marked two years that Greg and I met. yeah, it’s a girl thing to remember dates like that; bla bla bla… In all honesty, and I’ve told this to Greg many times, I thought Greg would never contact me after we met. I was so shy. But, to my surprise and pleasure, he contacted me within two days and thus began our continued friendship that involved into love. If you’re wondering how Greg and I met it was online through Y!; He sent me a message on Y! Messenger and I was online and we began chatting and then met in person.

Discount Airfare